What Dreams May Come
by Northerndale
Summary: After the coronation of Queen Anora, the mage Solona Amell left Denerim, with the intention of never returning again, as the city harbored far too many bad memories. Only after she received a letter from a companion, does she decide to come back.
1. A Written Invitation

Full summary: After Queen Anora had taken the throne, the mage Solona Amell, decides to leave Denerim, never to return again, because of the memories that it harbors for her. But when she receives a letter from a companion, requesting her return, does she feel the need to come back to the beginning of her nightmare.

The idea for this came from my original play through, and the need to see more closure from the ending that I received. Hopefully you will enjoy, and please be aware that this is my first fan fiction.

Alistair/Amell eventually, but, that won't be until a little later :).

Suggestions and reviews are always appreciated and welcomed!

As always, I do not have any legal rights to these characters, or the original work....blah blah blah... and I am doing this only for my own appeasement and fun and not for profit.

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Chapter 1

A Written Invitation

Solona walked with purpose over the snow that covered the road toward Denerim. It was winter in Ferelden; a cold, harsh place, an environment that it would be suggested not to traverse too far if one could avoid it. The wind blew hard around her, cutting easily through the light woolen cloak that she had draped over her worn and soiled robes. The white, crisp snow crunched beneath her heavy boots as she marched onward through the desolate landscape toward her destination. The sun had went down quite a few hours before; the only light to guide her was that of a gently glowing spell wisp that she had summoned, giving an ethereal halo to the darkness that surrounded her. Snow continued to fall as the wind buffeted against the mage. Never did her foot steps falter nor did she think of turning back from whence she came.

As she walked down this road, she could see a few lights of small villages that danced between the flakes of snow that blew with the wind. Denerim was at least two hours away from her, but she pressed on, never giving a second thought to stopping at one of these small hamlets for the evening. She could have easily sought refuge from the wintry storm at any one of these places. She was well known throughout the land. The Hero of Ferelden, or at least the living one, and she could stop anywhere and people would eagerly invite her into their home for the evening. To have someone as exotic as she, a mage, a grey warden, a hero at their dinner tables, would be a great honor.

She remembered, that it was not that long ago that those same people would have shunned and feared her for the powers that she wielded. And now, as she traveled throughout the land, they would stop and beg her to come and talk with them, insisting that she tell them stories of her great accomplishments and heroics. Every time that she would be accosted by such a layman, she would politely, but curtly, tell them that she had other business to attend to and that they should seek out minstrels if they wished to hear a fairytale.

She continued down the winding path, pausing every now and again, only to readjust her cloak to help protect her from the elements and to attempt to keep her dark blonde hair within the cowls of her vestments. Although the trek was harsh, she was not unaccustomed to this type of travel, as she had been doing it since she had left Denerim so many years before.

It had been over five years since she had been declared the hero of Ferelden. Over five years since she had walked out of the royal palace of Denerim, into the throngs of adoring people who only wished her good tiding and fortunes of the Maker. Over Five years since the nightmare of Ferelden had finally ended, and when her nightmare began.

These were the thoughts that swirled around in her head as she traversed the road. So furious she had been during the coronation. There had been so many things that had upset her during the event; from the incessant music, to the self-pious nobles and even the tone in which the Queen spoke to her, all of these annoyed her, but none of these were the reason that she had left. It was the simple fact that nothing was said beyond a half-hearted dedication to the true hero of the day that had helped her make up her mind about leaving for good.

She traveled quickly, in silence, the only noise that of the howling wind around her. She traveled lightly, carrying only her staff and a small bag with rations and lyrium potions. She found it advantageous to not carry too much with her, allowing her to readily pack up and move if the need arose.

The distance seemed to pass quickly as Solona could see the lights of Denerim dimly coming into view as she moved through the blustering weather. Up until then, she had given no thoughts on leaving, but once she saw the tall walls of the city, her resolve began to falter, taking every ounce of willpower that she had in her small frame to not turn around right then and go elsewhere. She had purposefully avoided this place for so many years, along with any other place in which she may run into her old companions. Now, she was finally returning, because of a single letter from Wynne, asking for her to come and that it was urgent. No other information had been added to this missive, only that it had been sealed with the mark of the royal court at which Wynne served. Although her sense of duty was making her come back, she had no real desire to do so.

Although it had occurred quite a few years ago, her memories of those events still played vividly in her mind, as if it were a tragic play that she had seen just a few hours before. For her, it was a bad dream, a nightmare, one that she couldn't quite wake up from. It had been bad enough that she had just lost the one man that truly loved her for who she was, but to add insult to injury, no one even made mention of what they had together. To Solona, this was their way of denying its existence altogether.

Walking through the desolate streets of Denerim at night brought back all of these memories, and the emotions that went with them. She remembered forcing herself to smile when Queen Anora presented her with the title "Hero of Ferelden", feigning joy and happiness, if for no other reason than to save face in front of the judging nobles that had congregated. The queen didn't mention anything about about him, nor had Solona really expected her to, and she could be forgiven as she too had to make an impression on the nobles that she was now ruling over. She did, however, expect more of her companions, her friends, that she had been journeying with up to that point.

Zevrahn had been as coy as ever, asking her only of her future plans, hinting at that he should stay a part of them. Oghren, who had been drinking, spouted about how he was going to try and fix his broken relationship with Felsi. Sten had very little to say at all as per his usual self. Even Leliana, her friend, her confidante, only praised her for her heroics and oozed happiness over her own soon to be excursions that would be taking her to lead an expedition to the Urn of Sacred Ashes.

Only Wynne had even mentioned him to her, and it was mostly in passing. They had both been raised within the Circle, cut off from the rest of society. Even though they never really knew each other during their time there, Wynne best understood what it meant to be scrutinized all her life, to be constantly feared by the people of the world, for a power that none of them had chosen to have. She should have had the best understanding of what it meant and how important it was to find someone who loved her for what she was, who embraced her wholly and who was not afraid of her magic but actually enamored by it. But even Wynne, it felt, had been against her as well.

It was for these reasons that she had actually left, electing to travel the world alone. Not because condolences were not said, but because of what those missing words implied: She didn't belong with him.

Her mind continued to mull over these images and thoughts as she made her way through the market and down the side streets toward the residential district of Denerim. Every step closer made her wish that she hadn't come in the first place. Just when she had almost convinced herself to turn around, she found herself standing in front of Wynne's small house. Through the first story window, Solona could see the flickering of flames coming from a fireplace and a white haired woman, turned away from the window, sitting in front of it.

Solona gave a heavy sigh, steeled herself, and rapped the head of her staff against the door.


	2. Souls Apart

Thanks for the reviews and as always, new reviews, criticism and ideas are always appreciated and welcomed!

As always, I do not have any legal rights to these characters, or the original work....blah blah blah... and I am doing this only for my own appeasement and fun and not for profit.

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Chapter 2

Souls Apart

The small house seemed very inviting and cozy, a large change from the harsh conditions of the outside world. Everything was immaculate, from the polished hardwood boarders that raced around the ceiling and doorways, to the carefully placed books and scrolls that seemed to be hidden in every nook and cranny that was available. Although none of it was exceptionally impressive, it was just nice and quaint, something that Solona had always noticed about the way that Wynne seemed to live, even when they had been camping in the middle of field or in the deepest part of the Brecilian Forest.

"Well, I am very glad that you are here," Wynne said, after letting the other mage into her home. "I was a bit surprised that you had come some rapidly, seeing that I had not sent my letter to you not that long ago, and that nobody had heard from you in such a long time..." Her voice softening on the last note. "I'm glad to see, however, that you are no worse for wear, considering the weather that we are having."

"I'm not here to discuss with you about the weather of Ferelden," Solona said abruptly. "Let me know what this urgent business is so that I may be on my way." She was still standing in the doorway, melting snow dripping off her cloak and onto the floor.

"And this is how you treat your friends?" Wynne inquired, raising an eyebrow. "I had at least thought that we may catch up a bit before getting down to that. Also," she said with a smirk, as she started walking into another adjacent room, "I have no intention of saying anything if you continue to make a mess of my entryway."

"I'm...I'm sorry," Solona said, almost sheepishly, as if she was a child that had just been scolded by her mother. She took off her cloak, allowing her hair to fall past her shoulders in waves. She also removed her hiking boots and placed them beside the door, as she decided that tracking snow and mud all over Wynne's home would not make her a very welcomed guest.

"Come, sit with me by the fire," she could here Wynne's voice coming from the next room.

After adjusting her robes to be a bit more presentable, she made her way toward where the mage had gone off to. As she walked through the threshold and looked briefly around the room, she stopped dead in her tracks at what she saw. This was obviously Wynne's study, the entire walls were filled with bookshelves, filled to the very top with tomes and scrolls, all intricately placed and neatly arranged. Close to the hearth were two chairs, in one, Wynne already sat, and between them, a small table that contained two glasses of red wine. An impressive sight for a studious mage, none of these things were what caught her attention, it was the sword that adorned the top of the mantle.

She recognized it instantly. The clean shape of the hilt, the intricate design on the pommel and the way that the fire played off the perfectly shined blade. Yes, there was no mistaking it, this was his. The one that he had used to slay the archdemon.

Solona stood there for a moment, staring at it, almost as if entranced by some spell that it held over her.

"Never thought that it would be found, did you?" Wynne asked, snapping Solona out of her trance. A sad smile appeared on her face as she continued. "A few months after you had left, Queen Anora finally authorized a complete cleanup and rehabilitation of Fort Drakon. Even still, it wasn't until the masonry team was called in that they found it amongst some rubble at the top of the tower."

The other mage had a difficult time finding words, at first, and then spoke with an even tone that even surprised herself. "I'm glad that they were able to find it."

Wynne could easily see right through the facade and made a gesture toward the chair that was next to her. "Sit down and let us talk a bit. That is why you are here, correct?" The tone that she was was almost matronly, but firm.

"I would rather not impose," Solona stated, shaking her head.

"Not at all. Come look, I've even poured you a glass of wine," she lifted up one of the two glasses that sat upon the table next to her, attempting to make the offer look inviting. "Although, I'm sure your not wanting to impose has very little to do with why you don't wish to be here."

Of course, she was right, Solona mused to herself. The elder mage always had a way with figuring things out without ever needing to be told all, or any, of the story. It was just a gift that she had, to be able to see directly to the heart of the problem, and most of the time, perceive the solution.

"I am here because you said that it was urgent. So, bound by duty, I came." She replied.

"Bound by duty?" the other mage chuckled. "What kind of duty do you owe me? Now for the urgent part, there really isn't anything more urgent than that of a dying old woman."

Solona sighed, making her way over to the chair and sitting down, deciding that she would have to play along with her if she wanted to get anything out of her. As she sat down, she felt the fabric of the chair cradle her. It had been many a moon since she had been given the chance a nice place to rest, as it was normally next to a log or on the banks of a river, that she made her bed.

This was also the first time that Solona actually took the time to look at her companion. Her facial features were much the same as she had remember them when they were travelling together, but the lines on her face were much deeper now, and her skin more ashen in tone. Her hands seemed to be much frailer than before, almost as if a small tome fell on them they would shatter instantly. Even her eyes, although full of wisdom as they danced with the fire, were sunken more now, saddened and hardened from her time.

"I assumed that there were important and pressing matters that came from the royal court," Solona finally replied, after taking a sip of the wine that had been offered. "And, although I may not exactly like Anora, that doesn't mean that I can just cast off direction from the court."

"You are a Grey Warden, child," Wynne stated, "you are not bound by any noble or court, only that of your oath to the Grey Wardens. That is your duty, not the whim of a queen. You know this of course." She paused for a moment, choosing her words as carefully as she could. "There was a reason that you left this place. You left everything, even that," she pointed up to the sword, "and I'm interested in knowing why you actually returned, not the reason that you told to convince yourself."

Solona glared at the woman that sat across from her. "You're interested in why I cam back?" Her voice rose in pitch. "Is it not enough that based on your behest that I have returned to your side? That I did not first ask why you requested me? I trust that your pressing issue is more than you finding a sword." Her words came out bitterly, almost a hiss.

Wynne only shook her head at the reply. "I expected as much," her voice as calm as ever, "you don't really know why you came back. If you would like the sword, you are more than welcome to it, for I have no use for it. But no," her tone became more stern, "that is not why I asked you to come."

"Then why did you?" Solona cried angrily. "If it was only for these mind games, then I would have gladly continued travelling....alone!"

"I will tell you in good time why I called you here, there is no need to rushing into things. Perhaps 'Urgent' was too strong of wording in the letter..." her voice trailed off. "At any event, if you do not wish to discuss why you came back at the moment, perhaps you will be more willing to disclose why you are travelling with such a large quantity of processed lyrium? The mineral is not light and I would imagine such an amount would slow down your travels considerably."

"How did you-" Solona was taken aback by the question, and of course realized that as mages, one could easily sense the substance, especially in high quantities. "I make lyrium potions with it of course, to keep my mana reserves up during travel," she replied, as a matter of fact.

"That much lyrium could easily make two thousand potions. I know why you have it, I can see it in your eyes. Although I'm not exactly sure of what magic you employ to allow yourself to go into the Fade without other mages, but I must let you know how dangerous and unsafe it is. Why do you do this?"

Solona was surprised at how quickly Wynne was able to see right through her. She wasn't exactly sure to what the woman was getting at she decided to answer anyway. "I'm doing research," she stated bluntly.

"On what, exactly? The long term exposure risks of lyrium? Go ask the dwarves if that is what you really wished to know. Not to mention, that the more that you go into the Fade this way, the more demons and abominations are drawn to you. Alistair would have been so upset-"

"How dare you say anything of him!" Solona cut Wynne off. Long buried emotions, now coming alive within her, burning from a pit that she had tried to seal off. She had striven so hard to suppress them, to now have it all coming back in a rush, she didn't know how to deal with it. "You didn't know him like I did! I loved him!" She went off on the elder mage. "Maybe he wouldn't have always agreed with what I did, but he never, never would have judged me so. Please, do not speak of him like you knew him so."

Wynne didn't answer right away, starring into the flames that jovially bounded within the fireplace before her. Solona didn't take her eyes off of her, the steel blue orbs seeming to bore into the other mage's temple.

"And now we finally get to the root of it..." Wynne finally answered, not looking away from the hearth, not turning to look at her companion. "Is that the reason why you left? Why you didn't come back? The reason that you have been wandering for the past five years and why none of us have seen you?"

"I-," Solona stammered for a moment, trying to hold back her emotions, "I left because I was angry. Angry with everyone. Angry with you, with Leliana, with all of you!" She moved her arms in an exacerbated flourish. "Not one of you said a Maker's damn word about him to me after it was all done. How did you expect for me to react? To calmly go on as if nothing happened? Is that what everybody expected of me?" Her voice became calm and weak. "It was like, all of you were saying, that it was my fault that it had happened, that I should have expected it anyway. That, regardless of how it would have turned out, we never belonged together in the first place..."

"We didn't expect anything out of you," Wynne said softly, placing her left hand on Solona's shoulder. "And, to say something, anything about what you had lost would have only seemed to cheapen it. And, even though none of us saw it as, conventional, none of us believed that it wasn't real, or that it wasn't important."

Solona was looking away from Wynne by now, staring at the sword that hung above the mantle. Hearing all the words that she had spoken, and course Solona knew them to be true. Still, a deep bitterness and anger ran through her, like a vein of fire that coursed through her body. She wanted to stand up, to walk away from all of this. To take the trinket sword that was sitting there, mocking her, off the wall and smash it on the ground or melt it down with the touch of her hands. But all she could do was tremble.

For the longest time, she had been lying, even to herself, about the real reason why she left, and why she was angry. Now that Wynne had called her out on it, there was no denying it anymore. She could feel tears starting to form around the corner's of her eyes. She fought them back as she never liked other people to see her emotional, or weak.

"I suppose that it was always easier to be angry with you instead of the real culprit," Solona said, after a few more moments of silence. "I don't wish to speak of this any further. I'm, just...tired."

"We'll talk more in the morning then and about why I called you here," Wynne replied. "Down that hallway," she pointed to her right, "is a spare bedroom, please make yourself at home."

Solona quickly got up from her chair and made her way in the direction that she was given, making one quick glance to the sword before walking out of the room and leaving the elder mage alone with her thoughts.

As Wynne heard the sound of the bedroom door closed she let out a sigh. '_So that is the real reason for her pain,'_ she mused to herself, as much to the spirit that was harbored inside of her. '_We need to help her, for all that she us done for us, we cannot turn our back away now'._ The spirit only replied with a shiver within her. '_I know, but I am almost gone anyway'_ she thought, understanding its feeling almost as if they were words. 'A_nd I'm not afraid of what it will mean to me.'_

The spirit answered only be filling her with a feeling of a warm embrace, one that she knew she would be giving up for this. '_Come, let us do this then, for this is the least that I can do..._'


	3. Coalescent Memories

Bit of a long chapter, but couldn't find any better logical breakout for it, so, here it is!

Thanks for the reviews and as always, new reviews, criticism and ideas are always appreciated and welcomed!

As always, I do not have any legal rights to these characters, or the original work....blah blah blah... and I am doing this only for my own appeasement and fun and not for profit.

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Chapter 3

Coalescent Memories

The time and place seemed vaguely familiar to Solona as she spun around, taking everything in. It was certainly Denerim, but it appeared that everything had been torn asunder. The dead and dying littered the area, piles of rubble where once great buildings used to stand, and huge conflagrations moved rampantly from one location to the next. She looked down on all of this from her precipice, high from the city itself.

'Yes, this is Denerim, five years ago,' she sighed to herself. This was often where her Fade journeys began. she acutely became aware of the soft halo that surrounded the vision and the small inconsistency of color and light that proved to her without a doubt that this was indeed the Fade.

Never had it appeared so real to her, especially without the use of lyrium. Did she bring herself here? No, she had been far too exhausted with our bought with Wynne to muster enough energy for this. Perhaps one of the long term side effects of coming into the fade too often on lyrium, she mused to herself. But, no matter how, she was here here, and she knew that for it to end, she would at least have to let this part play out.

She turned away from her view of the city and took in the rest of her environment. She was on top of Fort Drakon and could make out the visages of the party that she had brought with her so long ago. She saw the archdemon, still living, but greatly weakened, awaiting the final blow of a Grey Warden.

She was close enough to see the subtle movements of her ghostly companions, but not enough to make out their faces. There was Wynne, standing tall and defiant against the evil around her. Leliana was there too, both of her blades still grasped in her hands, ready to take out anything that came their way. Further in front, Solona saw herself, a few years younger. She had already set down her staff and had grabbed a blade from a nearby soldier, making her way towards the archdemon. And there he was, in his silverite armor, smeared with blood.

Solona had seen this part a hundred times, both in the Fade and in her memories. Unlike the rest of the scene that played out in normal time, this always appeared in slow motion to her, making the event even harder to watch. He made a swift movement, taking the blade from out of her hand. He embraced her quickly, pulling her in towards him, before he pushed her away towards her other companions. Both she and her Fade counter part screamed his name, as she had done so many times before in this nightmare. It of course did very little to stop him running or the blinding light that came shortly afterward.

After the light had dissipated, she expected to either wake up or at least find herself in the Raw Fade, as this was how her Fade excursions normally went. This time, however, she found herself in a large open field surrounded by a faint tree line, with dead soldiers and darkspawn strewn about. She recognized it instantly as Ostagar, but this was from the view point as if she had been in the battle that the king and Duncan had been slain at. She found it odd, that she would find herself her, not that she had never thought about or had dreams about what may have occurred if she had been there, but normally, a Fade journey seemed more linear. She shrugged again to herself, knowing that the fade can and often will change on a whim, based on the spirits and demons that reside within it.

Before she could really think more about her current situation, she felt their presence, the a large group of darkspawn, and they were quickly approaching. Of course she knew that they weren't really darkspawn, but often the Fade mimicked the rules of the plane of physical, and she would still be able to anticipate their attack. She plucked her staff from her back and readied her first spell toward the line of trees that were in front of her.

She finished casting her blizzard spell just as the first wave of darkspawn started to descend on the plain through the trees. The magical storm was keeping them at bay for the time being so she quickly refocused her attention to the ones that would be soon flanking her from the sides. She conjured a fireball within her hands and hurled it to her left, sending a few to an early grave and others only sprawling across the already blood soaked grass.

As she began casting her next spell, an arrow from out of the woods grazed her arm. Wincing in pain, she continued with the ritual, energy building up around her, lightning energy crackling at her fingertips. She launched the chain lightning in the direction of the unknown assailant and she knew that she had hit her target as she saw the offshoots of the energy break off into other directions.

Before being able to cast anything else, she was knocked onto the ground from behind. Without missing a step, she threw a large amount of spirit energy in the direction and stood back on her feet. The bolt of energy had gone right through it as it crumpled to the ground. At this point, she could feel their presence in every direction around her. She quickly threw out a few more spells, attempting to slow them down a bit more as much as she could, as she looked for an escape route. Of course, there wasn't any to be found, as she was in the middle of a field, and without being able to go pass the enemy line, there was little place for her to go.

"This is not how I imagined that this would end," she muttered to herself, preparing magic for the next volley of enemies. Solona then heard the sound of sword unsheathing and pressure against her back.

"I've got your back my love," her companion said.

She didn't even turn around. She knew the voice was his.

"Then you get that direction while I take care of this one," she shot out the order, forgetting almost how easy it had been for her to do so.

"As you say."

* * *

Magic still swirled around her hand as the last darkspawn dropped to the ground at her feet. She replaced her staff on her back and slowly turned around to see her companion. Solona expected him to be gone, to have vanished by this point, but he was still standing there, sheathing his sword.

It was Alistair, donning the same splint mail armor that she remembered the first time that she had met him. The same grin adorned his face as he looked at her, the only difference between their first meeting and now was the presence of blood on his garb.

"By the Maker, I didn't think I would ever see you again like this," he said, walking towards her.

"Stay back demon!" she shouted, taking a step away from him. "Alistair's dead! This isn't real."

"Oh, that's a new one," he said, the grin not moving from his face, but stopping his forward momentum toward the mage. "I've been mistaken for darkspawn before, but never a demon. Why do you say that I _must_ be a demon?"

"Because only demons and spirits live within the Fade," she replied, crossing her arms in front of her defiantly.

"Although true, its a bit more complicated then that," he replied. "Maker I've missed you so. Can I at least get a hug?" He opened his arms widely.

"You'll get a bolt of lightning through you if you don't start explaining," she pointed a finger sinisterly at him.

"Well, I don't really understand it very well either," he let his arms down, dejectedly. "I'm not a mage, I don't understand all this stuff. Essentially, what I can tell you is that, yes, I'm real...well sort of...in the sense of it being a dream...which inherently does make it not real...." his voice trailed off for a second as a perplexed look crept on his face. He waved his hands in confusion as he continued, "Anyway, it _is_ me though. Or at least the essence that is me...or the essence that makes me..._me. _I know this sounds crazy, but, I hope that you can believe me."

As a mage, Solona was taught from a young age how to identify demons within the Fade and how to avoid them. Although demons aren't the only dangers within the Fade, after taking a few moments to really look at him, she could tell that he wasn't one. He looked the same as he did when they both had been trapped in the Fade at the Mage's Circle and she couldn't find anything that seemed malicious about him either. There was no reason for it not to be him and this is what she had been searching for in all of her expeditions here. She just was having a hard time believing the fact that it could be true.

She let down her hand and looked away from him. "Why did you never come before?" She asked, her voice soft. "I came here, looking for you, many times and all I could find were my own nightmares."

"I didn't know how to, actually." His voice dropped in tone, seeing that she had turned her eyes away from him. "I saw you here...all the time...but I didn't know how to reach out to you. But I did...so desperatly I did..."

"Then how did you figure out how to do it now?" raising an eyebrow at him.

"Again...kind of complicated...basically, _I'm_ not doing it. Some _other _spirit is doing it, allowing me to be here...with you."

"That doesn't make much logical sense..." Solona trailed off.

"Aha! That is your problem my dear!" Alistair spoke enthusiastically. "You think far too much and should just go with it. I know that I'm going to try to make the best out of this opportunity."

Before giving her a chance to say anything he quickly spanned the distance between them and gently snatched her up in his embrace, spinner her around as if she were a doll. When he placed her back on the ground she recoiled away from him, turning away from his face.

"You're still pretty mad at me aren't you?" He asked, pouting a little.

"That's putting it very mildly," she replied, trying to keep her emotions in check, to allow her logic to stay true.

"Well, before you say _anything _else, I have something to show you," His grin returning to his face.

"Very well," she said as she turned to him. "What do you want to show me? And make it quick."

"Always down to business I see," he said with a smirk. "Just close your eyes, I'll tell you when to open them."

She sighed heavily and was about to say something when he interrupted her.

"Just trust me. I've always trusted you."

"Fine," she sighed the word and closed her eyes.

A few seconds past and she could feel the Fade change around her. The air smelt differently, clean and it was warmer than it had been in the field. The ground hand changed from the soft dirt to something more firm and substantial.

"You can open your eyes my dear," Alistair whispered in her ear.

She opened her eyes to find herself standing in the chamber in the Royal Palace of Denerim where the Landsmeet had taken place, but it was a very different sight than when she had last seen it. The sun was shining in through the large windows, giving the area a warm glow. Everywhere were streamers of white and nobles were standing about in what appeared to be their finest attire. She could hear soft music playing in the background from an obscured orchestra that was seated in the upper area of the room. Blossoming red roses too, were everywhere, the exact kind that Alistair had given to her so many years before.

Alistair was now wearing the ceremonial gold armor of Ferelden and he was smiling ear to ear. Solona looked down at her own clothing; her robe had been replaced with an elegant white gown that was adorned with gold thread that sparkled in the sunlight.

"Do you like it?" Alistair asked pensively, after a few moments, Solona not saying anything, only looking around.

"I thought only the spirits could change the Fade at will," was her only reply.

"Well, the spirit that is letting me be here with you did teach me a trick or to," he smiled warmly at her. "But, you didn't answer my question, do you like it?"

"Why are you showing me this?" She asked, her tone becoming cold.

"Well, this is how I always dreamed our wedding would be like," he said sheepishly, looking away from her cold glare. "I just thought, maybe...you know...that you might like this," he turned around, gesturing at the flowers and the decorations. "I wanted everything to be perfect, to be as beautiful as you...but I wasn't able to come up with anything that could measure up to that....so I came up with this!" He turned around in a flourish.

"You must be very proud of yourself," Solona hissed.

"You don't like it? Maybe I should have gone with white roses instead of red ones..." he put his hand on his chin in contemplation.

"I don't give a damn about the roses!" She shouted at him, her emotions boiling.

"I...I just thought..." he stammered

"Oh, that's just great! You were thinking again!" She was yelling at this point. "What in the Maker's name did you think you would accomplish by showing me a wedding that would never take place! This isn't even fair Alistair! I didn't come to the Fade looking for you so that you could have your half minded fantasies with me."

"I'm...sorry...I didn't mean to upset you..." he looked at the ground when he spoke. The area changed around them as if the entire chamber was melting, until they were standing alone in the Raw Fade, the entire illusion he had created, shattered. He looked at her again, now with stern resolve, "Why did you come in here then?"

Solona clenched her fists on the side of her, trying to stay as calm as possible, but the flood gates had already been open.

"Now you're interested in what I have to say? What about five years ago? When I told you that you would be a fine king? And that it was right for Ferelden? You were mad at me for proposing you to be king! You were the rightful heir! I told you that I was convinced that you would find a way for us to stay together, but you pushed that to the side, because you were too afraid to make your own decision!

"Then I came to you with a way out, with Morrigan. To save you, to save us! And you still turned it away! When it came right down to it, you were just too afraid to do anything! And then, when I was willing to make the sacrifice so that Ferelden could be in good hands, to ensure that its proper king would be there ruling it, you think that by growing a pair at the last minute makes you decisive? No, you took the cowards way out, the easy way out. You still had responsibilities and duties and you threw them all away because you were too damn afraid!"

Her words were piercing and cold. She used the tone just right to cause as much pain and abhorrence as she could. These were the thoughts that had ran through her mind for the past five years. The burning, seething anger that she had felt at the pit of her stomach, now, finally come into words.

"Is that everything?" Alistair asked, crossing his arms, after a few moments of silence. "If so, I think we should really get back to the party."

Solona's mouth dropped open. The emotions in her, wheeling about, not understanding the response. She expected rejection, anger, possibly hostility, but not this.

"What in the Maker's name is wrong with you!" She screamed, finally finding the words. "Aren't you angry, upset? Anything?"

"I still...love you," was his solomn response, "And how can I be mad or upset with you when everything you said was the truth?"

It was all too much for her. She had finally said what she wanted to say, the emotion boiling over within her and she was just not able to hold it in any longer. Her knees buckled beneath her and eyes welled up with tears, no longer having the energy to hold them back. She crumpled in a heap of robes, turning her face away from him.

"Maker's breath...." Alistair said, running and kneeling in front of the mage. "I never, never meant to hurt you." He placed his hand around her back and let her rest her head on his chest as she sobbed. "I was afraid, you were absolutely right. When you elected me to be king at the Landsmeet, I was...angry...part of me felt like you didn't want to be with me. And then when you asked me to sleep with Morrigan, I thought...that...you were asking me to do it because you were afraid that I would make you sacrifice yourself." He stopped for a moment, and lifted Solona's chin up so that she was looking at him.

"When I saw you pick up that sword to kill the archdemon, and then you looked at me..." Alistair voice began to crack, a few tears ran down his face as he continued. "I finally understood. You did everything...everything...for me...and I was too stupid to see it. You hadn't done anything for yourself. That's why I couldn't let you do it Solona. It was my choice that made it so that one of us had to die, and I couldn't let you pay the price for my mistake.

"I should have never pushed you away like that," he continued, pulling her closer to him. "I never wanted to make you cry." He gently brushed a strand of hair away from her face as he looked into her blue eyes. "Although, its nice to see that you do have _some_ emotion in your wintry demeanor," a small smile creeping onto his face.

"I'm sorry," her response came out almost as a whimper, "Maybe if I hadn't always held back...maybe you would have seen what you really meant to me..."

"Oh, I knew it, I just didn't realize it. You know as well as I do that I'm not always the sharpest sword on the rack."

A small smile tugged on her lips, meeting his gaze as she looked up at him. "I love you Alistair." Finally saying the words that she had never gotten to say before.

"See? Was that so hard?" he said playfully, gently coaxing her to her feet. "I have missed you so much, and you are absolutely beautiful..." his voice trailed off as he moved his lips to hers. She didn't recoil or pull away but fell into him once more. The feelings and emotions that they had before had not been lost just because of the divide of life between them.

When she finally pulled away from his kiss, she didn't let go of him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"We don't have much time left here, do we?" She asked, a tinge of sadness in her voice.

"No, I suppose not...but that just means we shouldn't waste any more of the time that we have left," he grinned at her mischiviously. "Maybe..I don't know...I still have a few other ideas left."

"Do you now?" she replied coyly. "I have a few ideas of my own...if you were out of them."

"Well...I mean..." he stammered, his face flushed. "Who am I to refuse such a request?" He smiled and kissed her again. "Maker's breath...I've made the mistake once, but I'll never let go of you again." Alistair pulled her even closer to him.

"I'll hold you to that," she said, smiling back at him.

"I promise my dear, I'll never leave you alone again." He replied softly, looking into her blue eyes, allowing the rest of the Fade to just drift away from them. "You're the only light that I've ever needed..."

* * *

Hopefully not too corny or fluffy, but for me, it just seemed to make sense. Again any critiques or ideas are welcomed and appreciated!


	4. Current Predicaments

This is a rather short chapter, but I wanted to get something up seeing that I have been neglecting this for a few days. Hopefully this is enjoyable and comments/reviews/criticism is more important now then ever as I'm still trying to determine exactly where I should be going with this. I have an idea of the direction, but some input from the masses would be nice, just to make sure that I haven't gone off the deep end :).

Again, thanks to everyone one who has reviewed and commented, all are appreciated and welcomed!

As always, I do not have any legal rights to these characters, or the original work....blah blah blah... and I am doing this only for my own appeasement and fun and not for profit.

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Chapter 4

Current Predicaments

Solona laid in her bed, content from her Fade journey from that past evening. She felt his arms around her and his warm breath against her neck as she did before, and she was afraid that if she would open her eyes that the feeling would go away in an instant. She knew that she may not see him again, but it was comforting to know that he was there, waiting for her, when it was her time, and that gave her reassurance and strength to move on.

She allowed herself to mingle in the moment a few minutes longer, soaking in the last remnants of her last nights excursion, when she finally realized that something didn't quite feel right. It was almost like somebody _was _actually holding her, not just the residual of her dream.

Her eyes shot open and looked down at her side, seeing another arm wrapped around hers. Seeing the scars on the hand, she knew that it was his. She bolted up in the bed, holding the sheet to her tightly and sucking in her breath. She turned her head and looked at the sleeping man that was lying next to her, it was Alistair. The early morning sunlight that shone through the small window lit up his face and danced across his golden brown hair. An expression of joy crossed her face as she realized that she wasn't dreaming.

"Alistair!" Solona exclaimed, shaking him excitedly. "Wake up!"

"Just five more minutes...," he responded groggily, raising a hand in protest.

"Alistair! Get up!" She shook harder, unable to control her excitement any further.

"Okay, okay, I'm away," he said, opening his eyes. "Wait...where...how..." he muttered, pulling himself up in the bed.

"You're here, you're actually here..." she said, placing her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat against her palm. A few tears trickled down her cheek, unable to say anything further.

"Andraste's flaming sword," he pulled the mage to him, embracing her tightly, "I'm here! Alive! I don't know how, but I don't care, I'm here, with you." He kissed her gently on the forehead, rocking her back and forth. "I've made so many mistakes before. I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that I don't make them again, and that I can be the man that you deserve..."

She smiled at him and kissed him lightly back. "I'm just so happy that..."

A knock on the bedroom door abruptly halted her train of thought.

"My lady, are you awake?" a frail voice sounded from the other side of the wooden door. "Lady Wynne asked that I come and wake you if you were not yet up."

The door opened just a crack, enough that Solona could see the face of a young female elf. She was dressed in a plain tunic, one that was often worn by those that worked as servants, and had her hair pulled into a bun.

"Yes, I'm awake," Solona replied, wiping a few tears from her face while she still rested one of her arms on Alistair's shoulder.

"Is everything alright my lady?" the elf asked, a quizzical look on her face. "I thought I had heard you talking to someone, but I do not see anybody in your room. It also appears as if you have been crying, if I may say so." The door opened a little bit wider so that she could get a better look into the room.

"I wasn't talking to myself," Solona laughed, looking at Alistair.

"Nope, that you were not," he replied, grinning.

"Then whom are you speaking with?" The elf girl asked again, looking from one corner of the room to the next.

Solona's expression changed instantly, her smile gone and a look of concern and worry replaced it on her face. "You...don't see anybody?" She asked hesitantly.

"No, there is nobody here," the maid replied. "Are you not feeling well? You must be running a fever, all that traveling in the middle of the evening through the snow storms..." the girl quickly ran to Solona and placed a hand against her forehead. "I shall go get a healer for you if you wish."

"Hello! I'm right here!" Alistair shouted, waving his hand right in front of the servant's face. Her expression didn't change and continued looking at Solona.

No..l'm...I'm fine," she finally replied, after a few seconds of bewilderment. "Its just been a long night," she sighed, "I just need to wake up a bit."

"Are you sure? We have the access to the best healers in all of Ferelden here, we can have one here in just a few moments..."

"No, I'll be fine, thank you for your concern," Solona replied, still attempting to calm herself down. "Can you please inform Wynne that I would like to speak with her shortly?"

"Of course," the elf curtsied, "Lady Wynne actually asked that when you are ready, to please meet her in her study. I will let you get ready." She scurried quickly out of the room, closing the door behind her.

The sound of the closing door seemed to echo in the room as thoughts swirled around her head. She looked at Alistair, and, although he looked exactly like he had the last time that she had seen him alive, he couldn't possibly be there.

"I'm losing my mind..." she finally stammered, falling back on her haunches on the bed. "I've finally gone completely crazy...maybe its the lyrium..."

"You're not losing your mind," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Now, about you being crazy, I'm not sure about, but I'm actually here." His lips pulled into a smile.

"You're not actually here," she said, more to herself than to him, while pushing his hand away. "You're not here. You're not here. You're not here..." She continued the mantra, as if trying to convince herself.

He pulled himself out of the bed and stood up in front of her. "I'm here, although, I'm not sure why the maid couldn't see me..." his voice trailed off. "I feel like I'm here." He poked himself in his chest a few times to make a point. "Yep, definitely not losing it."

Solona looked at him, standing in front of her and quickly turned away blushing, noticing that he was wearing no clothes. "And my mind is determined to keep me distracted even in my own delusions."

"So I'm a distraction?" He raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Its not like you've never seen me before."

"I need to focus," she pulled in a deep breath, closing her eyes.

"So I'm not allowed to distract you?" he asked coyly.

She shushed him with her hand and crossed her legs in a meditative pose that she learned while she was in the Circle. It was meant to help mages focus their minds and keep themselves aware while in the Fade and casting spells. She focused on her breathing and let herself become relaxed. Whenever she was having problems concentrating, she always found solace in this simple training that she had been given by the circle.

Her mind became less clouded with uncertainty and she allowed a feeling of serenity enter her. She no longer heard him breathing or moving his feet on the floor. When she was convinced that her delusion had finally left her mind, she opened her eyes.

Alistair's face was a few inches away from her own, as he leaned over the bed, looking at her. He was holding his breath, so as not to disturb her while she was busy.

"By the Maker...do you know how beautiful you look when you're deep in thought?"

She sighed and quickly got off the bed, hastily throwing on her robe that she had discarded on the floor the night before. "You are only in my mind."

"If I were in your head my dear, I would think it would be rather cramped, with all that magey stuff that you have up in there," he joked, trying to calm her down.

She didn't even acknowledge him, hoping that if she ignored it long enough that it would go away. "I need to go talk to Wynne, " she said absentmindedly to herself as she opened the door and headed into the hallway.

"Hey, don't leave me here!" Alistair shouted after her. "I'm not wearing any clothes..."

He attempted to pull the sheet off the bed so that he could at least cover himself in something, but found that no matter how hard he attempted to pull it, he was unable to move it from its resting position.

"Hmm...this is a bit unsettling..." he mused to himself, before taking off down the hallway to find his beloved.


	5. Moving On

Sorry for the long delay in writing. This time of year is always bad with trying to get things done, with the holidays and all, but I have finally gotten this chapter done! Hopefully it doesn't seem too awfully rushed (although it was a little) but I needed to get it written out before I get involved with other things.

Thanks again to all that have reviewed/favorited/story alerted this. Every little bit helps!

Suggestions and reviews are always appreciated and welcomed!

As always, I do not have any legal rights to these characters, or the original work....blah blah blah... and I am doing this only for my own appeasement and fun and not for profit.

* * *

Chapter 5

Moving On

"Thank the Maker that you're awake!" Solona exclaimed when she saw Wynne sitting in the study that the two of them had been in the night before. A small fire had been started in the fireplace and Wynne was sitting in her chair with a cup of tea on the table.

"Is everything all right my dear?" Wynne asked, a quizzical look coming over her face. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"Well, I had a very odd fade experience last night," she said, taking a seat in the unused chair across from Wynne. She placed her fingers on her temples and began making little circles. "I mean, it was actually really nice, I met Alistair..."

"Is that so?" Wynne asked, raising an eyebrow, her lips pulled into a smirk.

"Solona! Where did you go?" Solona heard Alistair's voice shouting from down the short hallway.

"Well, its not actually the Fade dream that was odd though," Solona said, attempting to ignore his calls to her. "It's what happened afterward...I think I might be completely losing it..."

"You're not losing your mind, my dear." Alistair stated, almost stumbling into the room. "I'm actually here and now we just need to figure out why."

"What would make you believe that? You are probably one of the most level minded people that I have ever known." Wynne stated.

"This morning, when I woke up-"

"I'm right here!" Alistair shouted, cutting her off.

"I can hear you just fine, Alistair," Wynne said, in a soft tone, wincing at the harshness of his voice.

"You can hear me?" He asked excitedly, lowering his voice.

"And see you," the mage said, raising an eyebrow.

"And see me!" He said enthusiastically. "She can see me too!" He turned to Solona. "See, you're not crazy!

A small smile crept along her face, allowing the thought that she was going through Lyrium poisoning to slip from her mind. "Yes, she can _see_ you." Was her only remark.

"Yes, she can...see...me..." His jovial expression fading and his face flushed instantly, aware that he was standing in the middle of the room naked. "I should...ah...cover up the manly bits," he squeaked out, moving his hands to cover up what pride he may have had left and inched his way to behind the chair Solona was sitting in.

"This is...a unexpected..." Wynne said, shaking her head. "I knew that there were dangers in bringing Alistair into the Fade, but I didn't think that this would be one of the results."

"Wait. So, it was you who did this?" Solona asked accusingly. "And why didn't you say before that you could see him before?"

"Yeah, why _did _you ignore me when I first came in the room?" Alistair chimed in.

"I wasn't sure if I too, was losing my mind. It took a lot out of me to do what I did for the two of you last night...the Fade, it can drain you like that. I couldn't be certain if you were actually there or not Alistair, or if you were just a remnant of the ritual from last evening."

"Well, um...thank you for what you did Wynne, I appreciate it," Solona said almost sheepishly. "I'm afraid, however, that this may have caused more harm than good..." Solona looked up at Alistair who was standing over her, a solemn smile on her face.

"How could this be a bad thing?" Alistair almost snapped the words. "I'm here now, and I can be with you! Isn't that what you wanted..."

"No, its not that...I'm glad you're here...its just...how do I explain this to you..." Solona said, trying to find the words that would allow him to understand the problem.

"You're straddling the Veil, between this world and the Fade," Wynne interjected. "We can see and hear you most likely due to the fact that as mages, we are more attuned to the Fade, but others will not be able to do so. Also, because your not really part of this world, but, yet, not part of the Fade, that means that the Veil will be very weak wherever you may be."

"Oh, I didn't realize." his voice became somber.

"I don't think that any of us did, Alistair." Solona said, clasping his hand in hers, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Yes, but...I'm a danger to you now...who knows what kind of beasties and...things might be trying to get through the Veil, and now I've gone and opened it up for them."

"There's really nothing that can be done about it right now," Wynne said, waving her hand dismissively. "I'm not sure exactly how you got here or how to send you back, so its a moot point. You're here, so you might as well make the best of what the situation is."

"I suppose you're right," he sighed, "but then again, you usually were."

"And it will serve you well to remember that," Wynne laughed. "Now, I don't suppose that you can take care of the whole..._manly bits_...problem? Perhaps some clothes? Armor?"

His ears flushed again as he looked away from the piercing eyes of the elder mage. "Well...here's the thing...I don't really know how to...I woke up like...this...and I don't know if I even...can..." He replied, shuffling his feet on the floor, embarrassed.

"That would actually make sense, seeing that you're not _actually_ part of this world," Wynne mused.

"Then how do you propose that I, _fix _this problem then?"

"Oh, this is like basic Fade traveling that we learned at the circle," Solona said, turning around to look at him. "Seeing that you don't have an actual physical body, your appearance is all based on what you percive yourself to be."

"Okay, I'm just a little confused." He replied, with a bewildered look on this face. "I'm not a mage, so I don't understand this whole Fade thing like the two of you. Also, if I don't have a physical body, why can I touch you?" He said, while gently moving a lock of hair that had fallen in Solona's eyes with his hand.

"She is your anchor to this realm," Wynne said, "So with that in mind, we can presume that you can interact with her and even possibly with other things that she is in contact with. Hmmm, let me try something."

The elder mage picked up a small twig that was next to the hearth and carefully lofted it Alistair's direction. Instinctively, he placed his hand out to catch it, to find that the piece of wood simply went through him and landed on the floor.

"I really don't like this..." Alistair mumbled.

"I would imagine that it would be a bit disheartening to find yourself in a world that you can't change," Wynne said. "Well, be that as it may, to answer your original question, all you have to do to change your appearance, is to imagine yourself differently than you do now. Just concentrate and imagine yourself wearing clothes. It may take a little getting used to, but I'm sure you'll get the hang of it...eventually."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Alistair replied sarcasically. He closed his eyes tightly and pursed his lips. "This is soooo weird..."

"Shhh, you need to concentrate," Solona said warmly. "It can sometimes help to have a strong mental reference. Just imagine what you looked like when we first met."

Alistair sighed loudly and attempted again. This time, he imagined himself back in Ostagar, the armor that he was wearing and the equipment that he had on himself. He tried to remember as much detail about it as he could; the rust spots on the chest plate of the armor, the bronze color of the gloves, he even imagined the sound that it made when he moved in it.

"There it is," Wynne said, before he had a chance to open his eyes.

"What? I did it?" Alistair looked down in disbelief. Where there had been nothing before, now was the suit of armor that he had just thought about. "Wow, its just like I had imagined it! I wonder what other things I can do...maybe I can change my shape like a shapshifter!"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, there's a bit more involved to shapeshifting than just thinking about it," Solona said, a smile on her face; but Alistair wasn't paying attention to her as he already had his eyes closed, his brow furrowed in deep contemplation.

"Well, anyway, I might as well tell you the other reason that I asked for you to come here, other than for the obvious," Wynne said. "I received a letter from Leliana a few weeks back with some unsettling news."

"Oh, what's going on, what happened? Is everything okay?" Solona asked, her face frought with worry.

"She's okay, but there are other problems. You remember that she was on an expedition to reclaim the Urn of Sacred Ashes, correct? Well, she went back to where we had found them, and discovered that they had been stolen."

"Stolen? By whom?" Alistair asked, giving up on his current endevor. "Who would do such a thing?"

"That's what Leliana has been trying to figure out for the past couple years. At first, she hadn't had much luck with finding the wearabouts of it, but in this letter she said that she thinks she knows where they're at. She didn't tell me where, but she did say, however, that she would need assistance in getting them back."

"I wonder why she just didn't tell you where she thinks they are," Alistair said.

"Probably because she didn't want to chance that the letter may have gotten picked up before getting to Wynne. Decided it was best that the fewer the number of people that know about it, the better." Solona replied, matter of factly.

"She told me where I could meet her, but frankly, I am a bit to old for this kind of adventure," Wynne said, a bit of sadness in her voice. "But, I thought that, perhaps you might be interested in helping her out."

"I think that I can do that. I haven't seen Lelianna in such a long time. I hope that she isn't mad at me for not contacting in so long."

"She understood what you were going through, dear. I'm sure that she'll just be happy to see you again. Here is the letter that she had sent," Wynne stated, handing over a rolled piece of paper, "and in it is where she said she would meet me. Its a little outside of Denerim, as she was afraid for some reason that coming into the city itself would be dangerous."

"Then I suppose that its time for another expedition," Solona sighed, with a slight smile on her face. "Although, I'll miss sleeping in a real bed."

"And what about me?" Alistair pouted. "What am I supposed to do while you're off, traipsing around the country side?"

"You will be going with her," Wynne stated. "Staying here will do you no good and quite truthfully, I don't know if you can..._exist_...too far away from her. You're tied to her now, if anything happens to her, well, I'm not exactly sure what would happen to you."

"Then I'll just have to protect you," he said, placing his arms around Solona, holding her tightly to him.

"I'm not exactly sure how you're going to do that, Alistair, seeing that most things will probably just go right through you," Solona replied with a smile. "But, I'm sure we'll figure something out."

"Just be careful though," Wynne said, grave caution in her voice. "Although you may already be dead, that doesn't mean that your essence cannot be extinguished. Demons and spirits can be defeated, there is no reason that you can't be either. And be wary of the weakness in the Veil that surrounds you. I'm not sure if its enough to allow for other spirits and demons to come out, but you should be on guard, just in case."

"Great...I'm putting you in more danger than before." Alistair said.

"No more danger than what we went through during the Blight." Solona said.

"Well, I guess that is true," he replied, grinning. "If you'll have me, then I will follow wherever you may lead."

"While you're doing that, I'll use my connections to the Circle of Magi and see if I can find more information about this...situation," Wynne said, shrugging. "I'm not sure if they know any more than we do, but, its better than nothing."

"Thanks Wynne, I appreciate everything that you've done," Solona said appreciatively.

"Yes, thank you Wynne, for...well...everything," Alistair said bashfully, squeezing Solona's hand.

"Oh, don't you be thanking me yet," the elder mage said, pointing a finger playfully at Alistair, "We still don't know what's going to happen."

"We should be off then," Solona said, standing up from her chair. "Again, I really appreciate the hospitality that you showed me yesterday. I'll make sure that I come and visit more often."

"That _we'll_ visit more often," Alistair added with a grin.

"Just make sure that you do it _after_ you help Leliana and before I give out!" Wynne said, her face brightening up a bit. "Now off with the two of you. You still have a lot to do."


End file.
